I'm a man of reason and they say
'Tis the season to be jolly
But it's folly when you volley for position
Never in existence has there been
such a resistance
To ideas meant to free us
If you could see us, then you'd listen
Toiling through the ages,
Making toys on garnished wages
There's no union, we're only through
when we outdo the competition

I make toys, but I've got aspirations
Make some noise, use your imagination
Girls and boys, before you wish for
what you wish for
There's a list for who's been naughty or nice
But consider the price to an elf

Full indentured servitude
can reflect on one's attitude
But that silly red hat just makes
the fat man look outrageous
Absurd though it may seem you know I've heard
there's even been illegal doping
And though we're coping
I just hope it's not contagious
You try to start a movement
and you think you see improvement
But when thrown into the moment
we just don't seem so courageous

I make toys, but I've got aspirations
Make some noise, use your imagination
Girls and boys, before you wish for
what you wish for
There's a list for who's been naughty or nice
But consider the price to an elf

You look at yourself, you're an elf
And the shelf is just filled with
disappointing memories
Trends come and go
and your friends wanna know
Why you aren't just happy
making crappy little gizmos
Every kid knows they'll
just throw this stuff away

We're used to repetition
so we drew up a petition
We the undersigned feel undermined
Let's redefine employment
We know that we've got leverage
So we'll hand the fat man a beverage
And sit back while we attack
the utter lack of our enjoyment
It may be tough to swallow
but our threats are far from hollow
He may thunder but if he blunders
he may wonder where the toys went

I make toys, but I've got aspirations
Make some noise, use your imagination
Girls and boys, before you wish for
what you wish for
There's a list for
who's been naughty or nice
But consider the price
Naughty or nice
But consider the price
Naughty or nice
But consider the price to an elf