I woke up yesterday morning
Fell down two flights of stairs
Well I thought I was wide awake but my legs were still asleep
9-1-1 ambulance help me!
But I can't reach the phone
So I screamed to my neighbors "Come over - break into my home!"

I broke my back
There was nobody left to help me
Broke my back
All the lies and deception won't change the perception that
I fell flat on my ass

I wish this had happened skydiving,
That my parachute failed
But a pair of shoes tripped me down stairs,
I lay there and wailed
Those things I used to take for granted
Now I take sitting down
I can't brush my teeth, chew my nails,
Give the finger to a clown!

I broke my back
And I can't even change the channels
Broke my back
All the lies and deception won't change the perception that
I fell flat on my ass

Well they tell me that I shouldn't be discouraged,
But they tell me that I'll never walk again
They say I'm gonna need a lot of courage,
And they say I'm gonna need a lot of friends
But what I really need is a pair of electric legs
So I wish some genius would just invent them
And if they cost too much I'd share with someone else,
Or I'd scan the yellow pages and then I'd rent them
I know that I could probably pop-a-wheely, entertaining the kids
I can put hockey cards in the spokes, I can even blow skids
I get a good seat at a concert, even get stuff for free
Is it 'cause I'm an excellent guy or 'cause they're scared of me?

I broke my back
And I can't even use the clapper
Broke my back
All the lies and deception won't change the perception
All the lies and deception won't change the perception that
I fell flat on my ass